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A · new · chapter · in · my · life
A new page in my book...
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I'm guessing something positive should come here? But since I am already re-living one day on a daily basis, I'd want to relive that day. It's all I think about. How differently I'd do things, this time around. 25th of October, 2008. The day my life went to hell, and 3 months on, I haven't even begun picking up the pieces- I don't believe there are any left to salvage. I'd have picked up the phone, and just talked to him; so we'd both know where we stand. I would not have been drinking because I was upset, at the Union. I would have left the Union with my friend, gone home, and tucked myself into bed. If I couldn't sleep, and I would have been outside for that smoke, I'd not have let my neighbour convince me into going out clubbing when I was already desolate and tipsy. If I did go out, there would still have been so many exits. I would have been more wary; had I been sober, the warning alarms would have gone off in my head when he said he wasn't married, when my neighbour told me some weeks back that he was the best man at the wedding. I wouldn't have let him kiss me, I'd have formulated the thoughts that were at the back of my mind, with the alcohol muting me: "Why are you kissing me, when you're married?" I wouldn't have let him goad me into downing 5 shots of - something. I wouldn't have gotten in the car of someone, who was just as wasted as I was. I would have been sober, and I wouldn't have thought it safe to go hang out with him and our mutual friend at their place. If I had been sober, me knowing he must have been married wouldn't have given me a false sense of security - he did kiss me at the club, afterall. I would have been sober. I wouldn't have let him lead me upstairs. I would have had more strength, than I did. I should have screamed. |
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[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<donut[afk]>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE <Donut[AFK]> INSULT <Eurakarte> RETORT <Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT <Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE <Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP <Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM <Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE <Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE <Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE <Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE <Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON <Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES <Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD <Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS
<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars <Cthon98> ********* see! <AzureDiamond> hunter2 <AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me <Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> ******* <Cthon98> thats what I see <AzureDiamond> oh, really? <Cthon98> Absolutely <AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2 <AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you? <Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as ******* <AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that <Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as ******* <AzureDiamond> awesome! <AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw? <Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw <AzureDiamond> oh, ok.
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK <tatclass> er. <tatclass> hi. <andy\code> A common typo. <tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.
#287414 +(17887)- [X]
<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk <DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first <DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out <DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh <DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning? <Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you? <DeadMansHand> holy fuck. <DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now <DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure <DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this <Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit. quit: (DeadMansHand) <Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day <Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP) <PeteRepeat> fucking ken <PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot <quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you. <PeteRepeat> oh fuck. <PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything. quit: (PeteRepeat) <Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach. <Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks? <TheXPhial> vaccuums <Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? <TheXPhial> black holes <Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool? <TheXPhial> lava?
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b <BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b? <BonyNoMore> wait <BonyNoMore> never mind
<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours. <ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly. <Ben174> : Where u work? <ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com *** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)
Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me GarbageStan23: why? Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us. Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire! GarbageStan23: oh shit! Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire.... Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing... ^^[this had me laughing hysterically at 5 AM :D]
<Sonium> someone speak python here? <lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS <lucky> SSSSS <Sonium> the programming language
<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section
<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404. <hokage> *cries*, scary....
<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit <foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die <foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?" <foniks`> whatd u think they'd say? <FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"
<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil <Hiroe> like, HUGE costume <Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head <Hiroe> at some anime con in california <Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel <Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space <Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there <Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
<Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as shit <Quake-Hat> i think i will masturbate to her while i play with my balls <bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother <Quake-Hat> Jesus-fucking christ!!!
<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield." <@cky> opposite over hypotenuse <@cky> dipshit
<orion`-`-> what the fuck <orion`-`-> i think the icecream truck just hit a kid <orion`-`-> brbrb |
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A: I'm really hungry, but I have damn lectures. B: Me too, but my dad's still asleep. C: Is he lying in front of the fridge? A: Sorry for the slow typing, really hard with broken left arm. B: ? Why not type with your right hand? A: Get out, got the beer in that one. A: My ankles keep cracking. A: Like really bad. A: I move my toe, and CRACK. B: Wash your socks =) A: Hmmm. 2 month old cream soup in the fridge. B: Take it for a walk! A: Ali-g, where are you? [chatname] B: Where'd he be? In da house! A: So where are you guys? B: In front of my computer? C: Pretty much everyone is. A: I meant, where do you live? B: In front of my computer. A: My little brother's firefox crashes. So he emails them [in hungarian] saying: "This piece of crap crashed." A: To which they respond in hungarian: "Okay, but how did this piece of crap crash?" B: Good to know firefox has customer support. A: Fuck it's a good feeling to not be hungover on a saturday morning =) B: It's sunday, A. |
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Suffering from writer's block, so decided to make quick update. writing speech for my dad for representatives and professionals coming to dinnner, advocates of the Peto method. Gah. And I've read up on it and it got me all weepy and emotional [happens a LOT lately; I almost burst out crying while watching HP and the goblet of fire the other night; and that is the worst book-turned-movie I have ever seen, I think]. So, LJ tells me I last updated approximately 35 weeks ago, so. Oopsies. Since noone probably reads this anymore, I'll finally be able to just use it for what its intended purpose was: A diary, just for moi, because I am my favourite audience, afterall. [I am also very humble]. Yesterday was a historical moment in my life, I went sailing again for the first time in 4 years and one month, and it was AMAZING. Of course, no matter how much weight I gained I still weigh too little for my boat, so my tush and my thighs hurt like hell from hiking the whole time - in 5m/s wind. Kind of sad, really. But at least I know have the strength to keep up. Oh, I also have PCOS, Metabolic X syndrome, or absolutely nothing at all. cool, huh? You gotta love doctors and their diagnoses. So I'm either gonna die of cervical cancer, be infertile and obese and unhappy, die of heartfailure, or live a long life. Same difference, really. Also, ED mixed with PCOS? Only a LITTLE ironic. And of course, GIVEN my life-long search for irony, everyone can imagine how happy this makes me. Also, passed first year, got my results. Which are crap of course, but I was aiming for a pass. Ironically, my best grade was for English, a B2 [2:1] - the module I intend to drop. Oh, I also need to write an update about all the guys from this year [have to remember all the names SOMEHOW.] oh oopsie, gotta go, colleague needing help w/ scanner. Cookies, Anna |
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Season started less than a month ago, and he's already the first goalie. I knew it <3. In other news: I know, I haven't been updating. I've been writing 'Weekly updates' though, and I shall paste them here. Because I cannot be bothered to [and can't see why I should] reformulate what I wrote. going home in 8 days, <3. And right before I get on the plane Sunday evening to come back to Dundee, I will be at Hovet to watch Hammarby play =) I couldn't possibly imagine a more wonderful weekend. |
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Hi, my laptop died. That's all, thank you. No love, Anna |
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I can't live at home anymore, I just can't, so someone here in Stockholm please take me in for a week, please please. |
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I completely forgot to say: My tuition fees will be paid for =) I just have to keep re-applying every semester. Also? My parents just bought a boat! :D 23 foot albin viggen, built in 1975. They're so happy <3. [I checked on internet. Pills can indeed be blamed. Known side-effect. I think my doctor really, really hates me.] |
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News 1: I have restarted my weekly updates. News 2: If all goes well, in a week my parents will be proud owners of a '76, 23 foot long Albin Viggen [it's a sailing boat]. News 3: My anxiety over not having received SAAS confirmation letter grows. I want to know that I have no tuition fees. |
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"The best way to get over a man is to get under another one." I am amused. In other news, I have REALLY bad moddswings now. It's been okay for the past two years, and now it's fierce. I burst out crying because I couldn't activate my bank account despite already posessing the card, because the IDIOTS at handelsbanken DID NOT give me an internet or a telephone code for activating, so I HAVE TO GO BACK. And am getting worked up again. But then again, it might be red days coming - who the hell knows?! I had it two weeks ago, but thanks to pills it's totally messed up. Actually, it might be due to pills that I'm having mood-swings in the first place. Should probably call my gyno :/ Except I absolutely loathe him, since he looked at my surgery with v. obvious contempt, and even voiced it [this was the first time I went to him]. When my mother went to him last summer to ask his advice about whether or not I should have surgery, his reply was: "If it was my daughter, I would do it. No question about it." So how DARE him look at me with contempt, when that was what he said a year ago? ...Also had nightmare again about something that happened three years ago. Haven't though about it in a long time, not sure how it came up again. |
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...I just spent 1000 SEK on underwear. It's terminal. |
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Jack: "I am done with men. I'm into women now. Come on, let's make hot hetero lvoe together! Take off your breasts and turn around." Grace: "Ah, if only this was the first time a guy said that to me." |
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He's back, got home from his place about an hour ago. Arrived sunday night actually, jet-lagged and having to work the next day. Busy day tomorrow, meeting Fi at 3 and Susan after 6. Met up with Anna, Josh, Fi and Owen Sunday evening, was fun - Josh and Anna are sadly leaving today, but coming back in October. Hopefully I'll be here then, to take the högskolaprovet. |
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(<a href="http://pyesetz.furtopia.org/meme-3col-DeathNote.html">Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
| ✓ I miss somebody right now. (It happens, sometimes.) |
× I don't watch much TV these days. |
✓ I own lots of books. |
| ✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. (Contacts. In the mornings or when I don't leave the house then it's glasses.) |
✓ I love to play video games. (Only when I have LOTS of free time. Never during academic year.) |
✓ I've tried marijuana. |
| ✓ I've watched porn movies. (Most people who say they've never watched - accidentally or on purpose are lying.) |
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. |
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. |
| ✓ I curse sometimes. (It happens, although I don't like it too much.) |
✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (I'd like to think so, thanks to lovely people I have met this past year.) |
× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. |
( it goes on... ) |
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Okay. These are level 1 modules, for the whole first year. I highlighted what I'll need - they obviously cannot be taken at the same time. One for each semester. You can see the digits - usually the smaller is first semester, other is second. Exception is english, where you can separately have film studies. And NONE of the other modules have anything to do with psychology, and yet I have to choose FOUR. Number codes, I guess: 11001 - which year in course, which semester, 0,0, number for module ECONOMICS EC11002 Global Economic Perspectives EC12003 Foundations of Economic Analysis ENGLISH EN11001 Ways to Read: An Introduction to Fiction, Poetry and Drama EN12002 Ways to Argue: An Introduction to Literature and Theory EN11003 Reading the Screen: An Introduction to Film Studies ENVIRONMENTAL MANAGEMENT TP11003 Sustainable Development and the Environment 1 TP12004 Countryside Planning and Management ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE EV11001 The Physical Environment EV12002 Environments for Life GEOGRAPHY GE11001 A World in Crisis? Population and Environment GE12002 A World of Plenty? Development and Resources HISTORY/SCOTTISH HISTORICAL STUDIES HY11003 The Making of the British Atlantic Empire c.1603-1763 HY12002 The Creation of Modern Scotland: 1707 - 1850 LANGUAGES PF/PS11001 Practical French/Spanish 1A (Intensive) PF/PS12002 Practical French/Spanish 1B (Intensive) PF/PG/PS11003 Practical French/German/Spanish 1A PF/PG/PS12004 Practical French/German/Spanish 1B MATHEMATICS MA11001 Mathematics 1A MA12001 Mathematics 1B PHILOSOPHY PI11003 Reading and Thinking Philosophy PI12004 Foundations of Modern Philosophy POLITICS PO11001 Politics and Public Policy PO12002 Political Ideologies PSYCHOLOGY PY11001 Introductory Psychology 1 PY12002 Introductory Psychology 2 TOWN AND REGIONAL PLANNING TP11001 Planning Perspectives TP12002 Design and the Environment ARTS GENERAL AG11022 Personal Academic Student Skills AG12024 The Changing World Order AG11025 Communications and Information Technology EVENING MODULES EN11005 A Second Chance with Shakespeare EN12006 The Gothic Text: Scared of the Dark AG11009 Exploring Scottish Narratives: An Introduction to Philosophy, Literature and Art History of Scotland AG12010 The Landscape, Townscape and Music of Scotland AG11026 Counting to Calculus PI11004 An Historical Introduction to Ethics |
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I can't even read my Pro Hockey anymore, without being reminded. |
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First off: Welcome, saturnial and cosmic_bambii! <3. My day today? Went to have lunch with Fi finally. And she told me that Hayley is engaged. So happy for her =) Then we started talking about how much has changed since we got to know each other in September, during classes. 1.) Hayley got into Harvard, and got engaged. 2.) Our friend Tanja is having a baby that's due any week now. 3.) Fi and Owen settled in in Sweden, Fi got a job working for DICE. 4.) I am [sob] moving away to Dundee [and failed my TISUS? :P]. Then, Fi was lovely enough to accompany me to water plants in A.'s yard - although he appeared to forget my shortness and the height at which some of those damn red flowers. I had to tiptoe, balance the watering can full of water, and raise it over my head with arms outstretched - then tip it slightly. Kinda fun though. :D Going on Sunday, too. [Idiot neighbours though, for not taking over when he tried to explain to them he wouldn't be here.] A woman even walked in, saw me struggling, gave me a smile and a nod and walked on. Lovely. Theen, filled out the application to seek exemption from tuition fees on the grounds that I am an EU student. Will send tomorrow, along with the application for my student ID. Still not sure about Uni. No, less sure now actually. First two years. Every semester, I have to complete THREE modules. That'd be two-three different psycho classes, and you can choose. In a normal world. Here, it's just "introduction to psychology". So, I gotta pick TWO modules from a different degree pathway. Probably take philosophy and literature, but come ON this is insane. The MA degree takes four years, PLUS for the first two years only one third of my syllabus is psychology? AND in the last year where you can choose 4/5 out of ten branches, they don't have sportpsychology. I gotta find my way back to Stockholm somehow, as soon as possible. Ooh. 18th of August, I am planning on dragging A. to a HIF game. :D He doesn't like hockey, but then he never watched one live I don't think - and our supporters are loud and in a good mood, so hopefully he'll be able to get into the mood of it all too. Praise me though, because I told him that if he doesn't like it, we can...leave early. I don't think I EVER said that to anyone before, of all the people I randomly dragged to games. Leaving in one and a half months. |
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#1: similar experiences. Dad:"Julie, talking to your animals again?" Little-Julie: "No-uh! The animals are talking to EACH OTHER! DUH!" Stay tuned for the next reason. |
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