A new chapter in my life

Writer's Block: Been There, Done That

2009-02-02T11:20:48Z

If you could live one day in your life over and over, which day would it be?

I'm guessing something positive should come here? But since I am already re-living one day on a daily basis, I'd want to relive that day. It's all I think about. How differently I'd do things, this time around.

25th of October, 2008. The day my life went to hell, and 3 months on, I haven't even begun picking up the pieces- I don't believe there are any left to salvage.

I'd have picked up the phone, and just talked to him; so we'd both know where we stand. I would not have been drinking because I was upset, at the Union. I would have left the Union with my friend, gone home, and tucked myself into bed. If I couldn't sleep, and I would have been outside for that smoke, I'd not have let my neighbour convince me into going out clubbing when I was already desolate and tipsy.

If I did go out, there would still have been so many exits.
I would have been more wary; had I been sober, the warning alarms would have gone off in my head when he said he wasn't married, when my neighbour told me some weeks back that he was the best man at the wedding. I wouldn't have let him kiss me, I'd have formulated the thoughts that were at the back of my mind, with the alcohol muting me: "Why are you kissing me, when you're married?"

I wouldn't have let him goad me into downing 5 shots of - something.
I wouldn't have gotten in the car of someone, who was just as wasted as I was.

I would have been sober, and I wouldn't have thought it safe to go hang out with him and our mutual friend at their place. If I had been sober, me knowing he must have been married wouldn't have given me a false sense of security - he did kiss me at the club, afterall.

I would have been sober. I wouldn't have let him lead me upstairs.
I would have had more strength, than I did.

I should have screamed.

Bash.org, thanks to my other-half :D

2007-11-11T11:50:36Z

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<donut[afk]>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

#287414 +(17887)- [X]

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> fucking ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...
^^[this had me laughing hysterically at 5 AM :D]

<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language

<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section

<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
<hokage> *cries*, scary....

<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice

<Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as shit
<Quake-Hat> i think i will masturbate to her while i play with my balls
<bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother
<Quake-Hat> Jesus-fucking christ!!!

<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse
<@cky> dipshit

<orion`-`-> what the fuck
<orion`-`-> i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
<orion`-`-> brbrb

Random IRC chats

2007-11-11T01:41:28Z

A: I'm really hungry, but I have damn lectures.
B: Me too, but my dad's still asleep.
C: Is he lying in front of the fridge?

A: Sorry for the slow typing, really hard with broken left arm.
B: ? Why not type with your right hand?
A: Get out, got the beer in that one.

A: My ankles keep cracking.
A: Like really bad.
A: I move my toe, and CRACK.
B: Wash your socks =)

A: Hmmm. 2 month old cream soup in the fridge.
B: Take it for a walk!

A: Ali-g, where are you? [chatname]
B: Where'd he be? In da house!

A: So where are you guys?
B: In front of my computer?
C: Pretty much everyone is.
A: I meant, where do you live?
B: In front of my computer.

A: My little brother's firefox crashes. So he emails them [in hungarian] saying: "This piece of crap crashed."
A: To which they respond in hungarian: "Okay, but how did this piece of crap crash?"
B: Good to know firefox has customer support.

A: Fuck it's a good feeling to not be hungover on a saturday morning =)
B: It's sunday, A.

Peekaboo.

2007-06-21T08:30:31Z

Suffering from writer's block, so decided to make quick update.

writing speech for my dad for representatives and professionals coming to dinnner, advocates of the Peto method. Gah.

And I've read up on it and it got me all weepy and emotional [happens a LOT lately; I almost burst out crying while watching HP and the goblet of fire the other night; and that is the worst book-turned-movie I have ever seen, I think].

So, LJ tells me I last updated approximately 35 weeks ago, so. Oopsies.
Since noone probably reads this anymore, I'll finally be able to just use it for what its intended purpose was: A diary, just for moi, because I am my favourite audience, afterall.

[I am also very humble].

Yesterday was a historical moment in my life, I went sailing again for the first time in 4 years and one month, and it was AMAZING. Of course, no matter how much weight I gained I still weigh too little for my boat, so my tush and my thighs hurt like hell from hiking the whole time - in 5m/s wind. Kind of sad, really. But at least I know have the strength to keep up.

Oh, I also have PCOS, Metabolic X syndrome, or absolutely nothing at all. cool, huh? You gotta love doctors and their diagnoses.

So I'm either gonna die of cervical cancer, be infertile and obese and unhappy, die of heartfailure, or live a long life. Same difference, really.

Also, ED mixed with PCOS? Only a LITTLE ironic. And of course, GIVEN my life-long search for irony, everyone can imagine how happy this makes me.

Also, passed first year, got my results. Which are crap of course, but I was aiming for a pass. Ironically, my best grade was for English, a B2 [2:1] - the module I intend to drop.

Oh, I also need to write an update about all the guys from this year [have to remember all the names SOMEHOW.]

oh oopsie, gotta go, colleague needing help w/ scanner.

Cookies,
Anna

annaik @ 2006-10-12T20:45:00

2006-10-12T19:47:31Z

Season started less than a month ago, and he's already the first goalie.
I knew it <3.

In other news: I know, I haven't been updating. I've been writing 'Weekly updates' though, and I shall paste them here. Because I cannot be bothered to [and can't see why I should] reformulate what I wrote.

going home in 8 days, <3. And right before I get on the plane Sunday evening to come back to Dundee, I will be at Hovet to watch Hammarby play =) I couldn't possibly imagine a more wonderful weekend.

annaik @ 2006-10-04T21:15:00

2006-10-04T20:10:53Z

Hi, my laptop died.
That's all, thank you.

No love,
Anna

annaik @ 2006-08-24T00:02:00

2006-08-23T22:02:14Z

I can't live at home anymore, I just can't, so someone here in Stockholm please take me in for a week, please please.

3 weeks.

2006-08-19T13:00:48Z

I completely forgot to say: My tuition fees will be paid for =)
I just have to keep re-applying every semester.
Also? My parents just bought a boat! :D 23 foot albin viggen, built in 1975. They're so happy <3.

[I checked on internet. Pills can indeed be blamed. Known side-effect. I think my doctor really, really hates me.]

Gah.

2006-08-19T11:32:26Z

I blame the pills.

Short.

2006-08-14T13:56:10Z

News 1: I have restarted my weekly updates.
News 2: If all goes well, in a week my parents will be proud owners of a '76, 23 foot long Albin Viggen [it's a sailing boat].
News 3: My anxiety over not having received SAAS confirmation letter grows. I want to know that I have no tuition fees.

Random quote of the day.

2006-08-09T10:18:32Z

"The best way to get over a man is to get under another one."

I am amused.

In other news, I have REALLY bad moddswings now. It's been okay for the past two years, and now it's fierce. I burst out crying because I couldn't activate my bank account despite already posessing the card, because the IDIOTS at handelsbanken DID NOT give me an internet or a telephone code for activating, so I HAVE TO GO BACK.

And am getting worked up again.

But then again, it might be red days coming - who the hell knows?! I had it two weeks ago, but thanks to pills it's totally messed up. Actually, it might be due to pills that I'm having mood-swings in the first place. Should probably call my gyno :/ Except I absolutely loathe him, since he looked at my surgery with v. obvious contempt, and even voiced it [this was the first time I went to him]. When my mother went to him last summer to ask his advice about whether or not I should have surgery, his reply was: "If it was my daughter, I would do it. No question about it."

So how DARE him look at me with contempt, when that was what he said a year ago?

...Also had nightmare again about something that happened three years ago. Haven't though about it in a long time, not sure how it came up again.

annaik @ 2006-08-08T13:04:00

2006-08-08T11:04:27Z

...I just spent 1000 SEK on underwear. It's terminal.

I am amused.

2006-08-07T09:53:44Z

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I regret tomorrow more than yesterday.

2006-07-31T23:51:56Z

He's back, got home from his place about an hour ago.
Arrived sunday night actually, jet-lagged and having to work the next day.

Busy day tomorrow, meeting Fi at 3 and Susan after 6.
Met up with Anna, Josh, Fi and Owen Sunday evening, was fun - Josh and Anna are sadly leaving today, but coming back in October. Hopefully I'll be here then, to take the högskolaprovet.

annaik @ 2006-07-26T17:45:00

2006-07-26T15:42:30Z

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now. (It happens, sometimes.)	× I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. (Contacts. In the mornings or when I don't leave the house then it's glasses.)	✓ I love to play video games. (Only when I have LOTS of free time. Never during academic year.)	✓ I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies. (Most people who say they've never watched - accidentally or on purpose are lying.)	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes. (It happens, although I don't like it too much.)	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (I'd like to think so, thanks to lovely people I have met this past year.)	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

✓ I have broken someone's bones. (My own, yeah. I am someone.)	✓ I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. (never going to reveal it, either.)	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times. (...Those of you who know me, know how paranoid I can get.)	✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (Two out of three worked out.)	× I need/want money right now.
× I love sushi. (Raw fish. No thanks.)	✓ I talk really, really fast. (When I'm tired.)	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
✓ I have long hair. (Sure.)	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling. (My dearling elder brother.)
✓ I was born in a country outside of the U.S. (Born, raised, and plan to live in a country outside of the US.)	× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	✓ I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
× I like the way that I look. (Absolutely not. Need to lose lots of weight, and buy a plastic bag for my face.)	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic. (Reali)
✓ I have a lot of mood swings. (I wasn't sure if I shoul dtick this, because this past year it improved a LOT.)	✓ I think prostitution should be legalized. (Prostitution exists anyway, if it's legalized then they at least get regular check-ups which lowers the risk of STDs and AIDS.)	× I slept with a roommate.
× I have a hidden talent. (I wish :D)	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	× I have a lot of friends.
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex. (Isn't a peck a kiss on the cheek?)	× I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
✓ I love to shop and/or window shop. (Yes, yes I do.)	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
✓ I have a mobile phone. (Who doesn't?)	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before. (Sure.)
✓ I currently like/love someone. (No names mentioned.)	× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	✓ I want to have children in the future.
✓ I have changed a diaper before.	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything.
✓ I have a lot to learn. (One always does.)	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
× I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (Alcohol IS my drug.)	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	× I enjoy some country music.
× I would die for my best friends. (Not sure how much good I'd be to them dead, and I don't like hypothetical situations - but I'm there for them, whenever they need me.)	× I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	✓ I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys. (I neither need., nor want guys to justify my existence. They're just people I meet along the way as I go through life, whom I [for now at least] can not fully trust.)	✓ Democrat.	× Republican.
× I don't even know what I am. (I am human. Female. And changing, and evolving, hopefully throughout my whole life.)	× I am punk rockish.	✓ I go for older guys/girls, not younger. (I am also amused.)
× I study for tests most of the time. (Haha.)	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	× I can work on a car.
× I love my job(s). (Don't have a job.)	× I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
✓ I walk barefoot wherever I can. (At home, yes.)	× I have jumped off a bridge.	× I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. (Nah. Have my favs, that's it.)	✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
× I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.	✓ I have thrown up from crying too much. (yes.)	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. (Happens.)
✓ I fall for the worst people. (true. Very true. Always.)	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays. (O'Learys is my love.)	× I can pick up things with my toes.	✓ I can't whistle. (It does not work!)
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse. (When I was little.)	× I still have every journal I've ever written in.	✓ I talk in my sleep. (Hee. Sometimes.)
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. (Guilty. [Future psychologist, too. Shameful.])	× I wear a toe ring.
× I have a tattoo.	× I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	× I am a caffeine junkie.
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all. (Hee. Dentrophiliac.)	× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
✓ I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. (Sure, why not.)	× I'm an artist.	✓ I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	× I have terrible teeth.
✓ I hate my toes. (I do. I have bumps on them thanks to sailing boots.)	× I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
✓ I have lived in either three different states or countries. (.Hungary, Austria, Norway, Sweden, Romania, and soon Scotland.)	× I am extremely flexible.	× I love hugs more than kisses.
× I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	× I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
× Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then. (Movies, yes.)	× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
× I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	× I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	× I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before. (In my misspent youth.)	× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	× I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
✓ I can't stand being alone. (...And yet I hate being surrounded by people.)	× I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
✓ I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment. (Clothes.)	✓ I'm a judgmental asshole. (Sometimes, yes.)	× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear. (Never.)	× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
× I am a Libertarian.	✓ I can speak more than one language. (Oh, yeah.)	✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. (Thank you, IB. I can fall asleep on trams, undergrounds, cars, at parties, in classrooms, wherever.)
✓ I would rather read than watch TV. (Always.)	✓ I like reading fact more than fiction. (In the past couple of years, yes.)	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do. (One? Heh. Thanks again, IB.)
× I have no piercings.	× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	× There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	× I like most animals better than most people.
× I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	× I have hit someone with a dead fish. (No, but I REALLY should do that!)
✓ I am compulsively honest. (Ugh yeah. "Brutally honest" was the lovely term given by my friend once.)	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to. (happens.)
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	× I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
✓ I always carry something significant around with me. (My lucky puck? ;D Kidding.)	× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	× I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	× I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. (There can be many more reasons than just those two.)	× I don't like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	× I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other. (Sort of. I wish people would play less games, bullshit less etc. Not exactly the same.)	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	✓ I love to sing. (...yet I can't.)
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	✓ I have a custom-built computer. (...Of course. Does anyone just go into a shop and buy?)	× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	× I've performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.	× I'm Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	× Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
× I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes. (You learn from mistakes.)	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	× I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
× I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	× I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	× I love playing Truth or Dare.	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
× Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems. (Of course it does, because I do mental exercises for one hour to block them out completely to raise concentration for the race.)	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love.	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

"You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh."

2006-07-22T15:46:39Z

Okay. These are level 1 modules, for the whole first year. I highlighted what I'll need - they obviously cannot be taken at the same time. One for each semester. You can see the digits - usually the smaller is first semester, other is second. Exception is english, where you can separately have film studies. And NONE of the other modules have anything to do with psychology, and yet I have to choose FOUR.
Number codes, I guess: 11001 - which year in course, which semester, 0,0, number for module

ECONOMICS
EC11002 Global Economic Perspectives
EC12003 Foundations of Economic Analysis

ENGLISH
EN11001 Ways to Read: An Introduction to Fiction, Poetry and Drama
EN12002 Ways to Argue: An Introduction to Literature and Theory
EN11003 Reading the Screen: An Introduction to Film Studies

ENVIRONMENTAL MANAGEMENT
TP11003 Sustainable Development and the Environment 1
TP12004 Countryside Planning and Management

ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE
EV11001 The Physical Environment
EV12002 Environments for Life

GEOGRAPHY
GE11001 A World in Crisis? Population and Environment
GE12002 A World of Plenty? Development and Resources

HISTORY/SCOTTISH HISTORICAL STUDIES
HY11003 The Making of the British Atlantic Empire c.1603-1763
HY12002 The Creation of Modern Scotland: 1707 - 1850

LANGUAGES
PF/PS11001 Practical French/Spanish 1A (Intensive)
PF/PS12002 Practical French/Spanish 1B (Intensive)
PF/PG/PS11003 Practical French/German/Spanish 1A
PF/PG/PS12004 Practical French/German/Spanish 1B

MATHEMATICS
MA11001 Mathematics 1A
MA12001 Mathematics 1B

PHILOSOPHY
PI11003 Reading and Thinking Philosophy
PI12004 Foundations of Modern Philosophy

POLITICS
PO11001 Politics and Public Policy
PO12002 Political Ideologies

PSYCHOLOGY
PY11001 Introductory Psychology 1
PY12002 Introductory Psychology 2

TOWN AND REGIONAL PLANNING
TP11001 Planning Perspectives
TP12002 Design and the Environment

ARTS GENERAL
AG11022 Personal Academic Student Skills
AG12024 The Changing World Order
AG11025 Communications and Information Technology

EVENING MODULES
EN11005 A Second Chance with Shakespeare
EN12006 The Gothic Text: Scared of the Dark
AG11009 Exploring Scottish Narratives: An Introduction to Philosophy, Literature and Art
History of Scotland
AG12010 The Landscape, Townscape and Music of Scotland
AG11026 Counting to Calculus
PI11004 An Historical Introduction to Ethics

annaik @ 2006-07-21T23:18:00

2006-07-21T21:16:47Z

I can't even read my Pro Hockey anymore, without being reminded.

"I'm looking for the condom aisle. What size do you wear?"

2006-07-20T21:01:47Z

First off: Welcome, saturnial and cosmic_bambii! <3.

My day today? Went to have lunch with Fi finally.
And she told me that Hayley is engaged. So happy for her =)
Then we started talking about how much has changed since we got to know each other in September, during classes.

1.) Hayley got into Harvard, and got engaged.
2.) Our friend Tanja is having a baby that's due any week now.
3.) Fi and Owen settled in in Sweden, Fi got a job working for DICE.
4.) I am [sob] moving away to Dundee [and failed my TISUS? :P].

Then, Fi was lovely enough to accompany me to water plants in A.'s yard - although he appeared to forget my shortness and the height at which some of those damn red flowers. I had to tiptoe, balance the watering can full of water, and raise it over my head with arms outstretched - then tip it slightly. Kinda fun though. :D Going on Sunday, too.

[Idiot neighbours though, for not taking over when he tried to explain to them he wouldn't be here.] A woman even walked in, saw me struggling, gave me a smile and a nod and walked on. Lovely.

Theen, filled out the application to seek exemption from tuition fees on the grounds that I am an EU student. Will send tomorrow, along with the application for my student ID.

Still not sure about Uni. No, less sure now actually. First two years. Every semester, I have to complete THREE modules. That'd be two-three different psycho classes, and you can choose. In a normal world. Here, it's just "introduction to psychology". So, I gotta pick TWO modules from a different degree pathway. Probably take philosophy and literature, but come ON this is insane. The MA degree takes four years, PLUS for the first two years only one third of my syllabus is psychology? AND in the last year where you can choose 4/5 out of ten branches, they don't have sportpsychology. I gotta find my way back to Stockholm somehow, as soon as possible.

Ooh. 18th of August, I am planning on dragging A. to a HIF game. :D He doesn't like hockey, but then he never watched one live I don't think - and our supporters are loud and in a good mood, so hopefully he'll be able to get into the mood of it all too.

Praise me though, because I told him that if he doesn't like it, we can...leave early. I don't think I EVER said that to anyone before, of all the people I randomly dragged to games.

Leaving in one and a half months.

Reasons why she is my other-half.

2006-07-19T19:33:22Z

#1: similar experiences.

Dad:"Julie, talking to your animals again?"
Little-Julie: "No-uh! The animals are talking to EACH OTHER! DUH!"

Stay tuned for the next reason.

annaik @ 2006-07-19T21:23:00

2006-07-19T19:23:38Z

I finally got food. Lots of food. No more half-passing out from hunger while wandering around the house and talking to my other-half at 5 in the morning :D

annaik @ 2006-07-19T05:49:00

2006-07-19T03:46:05Z

tired k bed now. no sleep. talked to A. though, good. going on helicopter ride tomorrow. today. yeah.

okay, zeezee, nn.

"Hope dancing in stiletto heels."

2006-07-18T20:58:42Z

I think I'm gonna starve to death. Was so busy meeting up with friends, cleaning and sorting through clothes ~~and shoes~~, I didn't go foodshopping AGAIN. And yeah. Gotta sort, because apparently all my summer+winter clothes AND my shoes won't fit in my dorm room. It's gonna be tough, saying goodbye to clothes. ...And NOT shoes, because I NEED THEM.

So. 2 pants, 10 shirts and 7 pairs of shoes for example is completely reasonable, IMHO. :D

In other unpleasant news, I have tuition fees of £1,700 per SEMESTER. That will equal more than dormitory changes, which I'll barely pay. For a couple of hours looked like I'm not going to Dundee afterall.

Then, I checked out this SAAS thing - Scottish foundation, organization, whatever - which pays tuition fees for EU students, provided you apply by deadline. So I look at the site.
"Final Closing Date: 30 June". More stress, me going for my third jog today [It's becoming an anger/tension management therapy]. Come back, read again. "30 June 2007". I just lost years of my life for nothing.

So all's good, I'll print out the 14-page-long application form, send it tomorrow, and it's all fine.

And then I THINK I am done, completely. Well, still need residence permit and bank account opened - preferably BEFORE I get there, because if it works like it does here in Stockholm, opening an account takes 4 weeks.

5th of August: Hedemora.
I haven't decided yet if I'm going though :/ Need to decide in next 24 hours, and call hammarbyhockey QUICKLY to ask if they still have room on the supporterbus.

On the one hand, it'd be amazing to see Hammarby play again [all the hockey I live off now is by getting my hands on old Avalanche matches where I get to see roy play, and by watching NHL news everyday for trades. :P], and against an amazing team - CSKA Moskva.

My mother rooted for them when she was young and lived in Russia. ...So I def. won't be taking her to the game, don't want to see her gloat when/if CSKA wins :D

"He's got the 'Not a good time to cross' signal."

2006-07-18T08:18:33Z

Alright, I gotta go buy food today - I have no fruits, no meat at home, no vegetables...Come to think of it, all I have is bread and cheese. Not so good. :P

I increased my jogs to twice a day, morning and afternoon which is really good. And I increase the time I run by 3-5 mins every day, so this should do me good.

...After 30 minutes hard work, I also managed to move the 60kg heavy cross-country machine [what I run on] over to the living room, so I can watch TV while running, instead of being extremely bored. And, I managed WITHOUT scraping the floors [too much].

Haven't talked to my other half in....TWO days. Too long. I shoud go leave an offline message for her.

annaik @ 2006-07-17T14:02:00

2006-07-17T11:58:55Z

Pixar: Boundin'
---------------

Here's a story on how strange is
Life with its changes
And it happened not long ago.
On a high mountain plain
Where the sagebrush arranges
A playground south of the snow,

Lived a lamb with a coat of remarkable sheen.
It would glint in the sunlight all sparkly and clean,
Such a source of great pride
That it caused him to preen.
And he'd break out in high-steppin' dance.

He would dance for his neighbors across the way.
I must say that they found his dancin' enhancin',
For they'd also join in the play.

...

Then one day...

...

Then a-boundin' up the slope,
Came a great American Jackalope,
This sage of the sage,
This rare hare of hope,
Caused to pause and check out the lamb.

- Hey, kid, why the mope?

- I used to be something, all covered with fluff,
And I'd dance in the sunlight and show off my stuff.
Then they hauled me away in a manner quite rough
And sheared me and dumped me back here in the buff.

And if that's not enough,
Now my friends all laugh
At me ‘cause they think
I look ridiculous, funny and pink.

- Pink? Pink? Well, what's wrong with Pink?
Seems you've got a pink kink in your think.
Does it matter what color? Well, that gets a nope,
Be it pick, purple or heliotrope.
Now sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down.
When you find that you're down,
Well, just look around,
You still got a body, good legs and fine feet,
Get your head in the right place and, hey, you're complete.

Now as for the dancin', you can do more.
You can reach great heights in fact you can soar.
You just get a leg up and you slap it on down,
And you'll find you're up in what's called "a bound."
Bound, bound and rebound.

Bound and you're up right next to the sky.
And I think you can do it if you give it a try.

First, get a leg up, slap it on down...

...

So, every year, along about May,
They'd load him up and haul him away.
And they'd shave him and dump him all naked and bare.
He learned to live with it, he didn't care.

He'd just bound, bound, bound and rebound.

Now in this world of ups and downs
So nice to know there are Jackalopes around.

Wedding

2006-07-17T11:50:50Z

Posting wedding pictures - about time, too.

My brother, all dressed up and ready to go =)

My brother and I

My brother and his best man Nick - friend from Norway.

Entrance - The girl is Anna's bridesmaid.

Lighting the candle together

During the ceremony - My brother's other best friend Gergo [hungarian], translating for Nick.

Happy Newlyweds

Walking out of the Hall

And walking again. They were made to walk back and forth 3 times, so everyone could get enough pictures :D

Still walking.

Ceremony again, left to right: Nori, Anna, Andris [brother], Nick, Gergo

Exchanging of rings

Husband and wife...

..And joined with bridesmaid and groomsmen.

Little gathering on the boat after the ceremony for family and closest friends